Today was a terrible day for Azarel. He misbehaved every chance he could get, and wasn't responsive to us when we asked or told him to do something. I understand he's just a kid, but he's a kid who knows the difference between right and wrong. He's been taught. People say he's so cute and so well behaved, but it's not without training. He's at the age where he will openly defy us (he'll be 2 in December). I figure, if he's able to understand and be disobedient out of his own will, he's able to sustain punishment accordingly. Today I figured out I have to step my game up. How'd I learn that? It's easy. I got embarrassed. It really bothers me when I see that a parent can't control their child, and tonight, Azarel put me in a position where I felt embarrassed... and thus, for a moment, I became the child. It wasn't because he did something funny. It wasn't because he didn't mean what he was doing. It was because he did something three times in a row that I distinctly told him not to do. It's my job to raise my son. If I fail, I fail God, I fail my husband, and I fail my son. I am praying that I can be a better parent in this department. I take it seriously. Very seriously. Lots of people tell me to just enjoy him while he's little, but I can't enjoy him if he's just being a little sinner. (That's just what I call him in my head when he's being a bad boy.) I enjoy him most when he's receptive to instruction and behaves as he should, of course.

Anyway, I'm shot, and I'm feeling pathetic. I should probably just call it quits for the night, leave the dishes in the sink, leave the bathroom a mess, and throw all the clean laundry that's on the bed to be folded into a nice big pile on the floor and save it all for another day. I should just pray and fall asleep. I probably won't though. I'll probably dwell on this for a while and seek comfort. My flesh hates to feel humbled, and that's exactly what I am right now. I'm not the mother I want to be. I know, one bad day shouldn't be making me like this (and that's probably why I said I should go to sleep and forget about it), but it was one bad day.

One good thing about today was that I made some really good spinach artichoke dip from scratch, as well as some Indian food (chicken tikka masala) with naan (Indian bread). I guess another was the time I spent with some friends this evening. I wasn't in a bad mood like I am now until I got home though, so I wouldn't have said anything to them about it. Ehh.... life.

I needed a change badly. 

When your husband starts calling you "Silver Fox," 

because grays are showing through,

 you know you need to do something. 

I'm not even 25 yet. 

Grays?? Yea. 

So I had Nicholas dye my hair for me. :)

A part of Operation Homefront,

Wounded Warrior Wives (WWW) strives to give comfort and tools 

to those who care for wounded warriors. 

Today I received a package in the mail. 

I was immediately brought to tears. 

In the pretty purple and black box 

(tied up in Wounded Warrior Wives ribbon) 

was . . . .